he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
