If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Someone signed my nipple.
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