do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
