we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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