i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
