Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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