Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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