She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
