On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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