I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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