idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
