break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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