you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
