Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
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I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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