He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
