Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
