Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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