Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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