Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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