I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
