Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
