And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize