You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
