So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
