Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
