Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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