do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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