Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
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I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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