Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
