i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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