You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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