if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
