i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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