i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
