A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
