I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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