R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
