I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
