Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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