I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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