Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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