Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
