That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
