Nicole vs. Life
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
