She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
