my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She announced her abortion via fbk
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
