the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I could fuck to npr.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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