just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
