girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
