we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
