Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
