like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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