I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize