Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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