He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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