Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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