Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so let's talk penis.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
