on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize