Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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