I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
