Kiss
Puke
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
